Aww, huge hugs hun. Only two pieces of advice I can offer really. Firstly, go to your doctor. A year is a long time to be trying to get pregnant and the doctors will be able to look for reasons why it may not be happening for you. Secondly, if you can, stop thinking about your deadline as you are putting far to much pressure on yourself. When I started ttc I was aiming to get pregnant within about 4 months to fit in best with work. It didn't work out like that and it eventually took 10 months and a relaxing holiday abroad before it finally happened for us. I know its so much easier said than done to relax about ttc when its already taking so long, but really it will help.

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I agree that being anxious and stressed will not help the situation, mentally and physically. You are putting yourself under immense pressure, which is understandable, but you need to be in a more relaxed environment so that you can clear you head and try again.

It must be really hard for you, we're ttc and although we've tried not to put pressure on by tracking dates etc. (we're not in any rush and have said we'll just not use anything and see how it goes) but I'm secretly quite disappointed each time it gets to the end of the month and you-know-what happens, which has been 4 times since I stopped taking the pill. I don't understand it myself (I'd just assumed you need 2 ingredients to make a baby and it was as simple as that!) but it seems quite common for people to over-think it and put too much pressure on themselves and it just doesn't happen, then as soon as they stop trying or something else comes along to take their mind off ttc, it happens. It's like your body won't prepare itself properly if you're too wound up and it's a downward spiral.

You don't say why you've put this time limit on having a baby? Is it the urge to have another baby, or is there a practical reason too?

It may also be that something has changed since you had your daughter which is preventing you from concieving, so it may be worth a visit to your doctor to have some tests done to establish if it is a physical problem, or just the mental barrier? If it is physical, it's unlikely there's much they could do within the next couple of months, but there are a few different hormone treatments they can try to increase fertility and if you went down that route straight away, it may mess with your wedding plans somewhat (although it looks like you're giving yourself a year after the baby so I'd be tempted to let this slide a little )!

There's also IVF which is the last resort if the hormone treatments haven't worked. My cousin and his wife had the treatment after 2 years of trying and got a beautiful little girl. They had to cancel their wedding though, as his wife was almost 35 and I believe (though I may be wrong) that this is the cut-off age for IVF treatment on the NHS.

If you've got plenty of time (and the doctors can't find any reason why you're struggling), I'd suggest waiting until after the wedding to try for a baby when there is no more stress or pressure to put yourselves under. You can enjoy planning the wedding of your dreams and look forward to the fun part afterwards

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Hi girls thank you for all your support! i think i was having a perticually hard day and didnt know where to turn i can see its starting to take a toll on my fella so didnt want to upset him think he sometimes feels its his fault.
To answer some questons :
The dead line is there because you usually need a year to find a wedding a dress and alterations and any weight loss after having baby ect, so this is why i only had till september - october time.
We have a holiday in septemember in crete so we think that may help.
I have never really put 'pressure' on it, it started as if it happens it happens i now use a ovulation test but i wouldnt say its lots of pressure its just heart breaking at the end of every month!
iv brought me and hubby to be some conception vitamins and booked us into the DRs next week just incase.
xxx

I am sorry you are feeling so low maybe the holiday will help, one of the things I keep hearing about the place is that relaxing sometimes helps things along! Hopefully it will happen for you soon xx

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Sorry that you're having a hard time Connie, I can imagine it's tough when the first one happened without any effort. I worried about this happening with DS because like you, DD was unplanned.

I would definitely get yourself off to the doctors, they usually ask that you TTC for a year before they will start investigating possible causes although sometimes, it really does just take that long I think. When you think about what the swimmers and the egg have to do, it's pretty amazing that there's any kids at all - it seems against the odds all the time!

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Thank you i stupidly presumed you just do the baby dance and you get a baby! They teach you so well on how to prevent a baby but theres so much science into making one! do you know humans are actually one of the least fertile of species seeing as we only have 48 hours a month to get pregnant!
i also found out drinking more than one cup of coffee a day increases the lengh of time you try for a baby by 50%!!!
im really trying not to put pressure on it i have the doctors at 9.30am tomorrow fingers crossed for me!

I've had some tests at the doctors recently as I keep bleeding in between my periods, so be prepared if you're going to discuss these sort of issues that they may want to do an internal exam. It's nothing to worry about, but I was a bit surprised whe the doctor started prodding about and probably would have been grateful of a bit of warning! I'm sure everything will be fine, but it doesn't hurt to check good luck!

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Was the Dr helpful this morning?

And I agree, there's some design faults with us humans - they don't make it easy for a lot of people. I don't drink coffee - maybe that's why I've got preg before I've actually really decided?!

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The doctor said because im under 35 and already have one baby he would of liked me to try for 2 years before he does anything i got very upset giving i only have 2 months left so he is doing some blood tests on me to check my hormones if they come back clear then i will have to wait untill after the wedding before i can go back and have more in deph tests - scans ect. On the other hand if the bloods show up abnormal he will refer me strait away.
Me and Other half have been talking about getting a shih tzu in october , when i have to go back on contraception , im no way comparing a child to a dog but putting my contreception patch back on is going to destroy me i feel the need to care for someone and a puppy comes pretty close lol! xx

Glad he agreed to do some tests for you, I'm sure there's nothing wrong and it's just taking time.

And I would think seriously about getting a dog, my mum had a shihtzu who was absolutely adorable but when she had my sister (who's now 4), it was a nightmare with walking him and a baby in all weather conditions and going away would cost £200 a week in kennel fees and there's insurance etc on top.

We ended up giving him to a super camp gay couple when the girls were 18months or so who already had another shihtzu called Alfie so they renamed him Archie and he has an amazing life with them - they go away for the weekend to doggy hotels and they all sleep in the bed together at night. It's so cute.

Both my DD and my sister just terrorised him when they were younger - pulling his tail or just generally bumping in to him and he was banished to the kitchen or dining room a lot as we feared he'd try and nip them as they landed on him a few times and he'd growled at them so we didn't want to be put in a difficult situation.

As lovely as they are, dogs are hard work and are no substitution for kids. Just more hard work when you do have another one!

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had my blood tests done today (feeling rather proud of my self as im needle phobic) lol hopefully find out in 3-5 working days if anything is off with my hormones so will keep you all updated

I suggest to go to a doctor, checking what the problem is. if it is not anything wrong with you.
Maybe you have a lot of stress to yourself. Just relax yourself, the baby maybe come soon.

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Remember everything you have, and cherish it while you have it. Cause one day, you might wake up, and it will be gone.

have got my results back came back clear i just have to keep trying although i have now been tod to be carful this month as my daughter has caught chicken pox and its dagerous for pregnant women! honestly ts one thing after another lol